Do you recall playing hockey or any other sport and seeing your parents in the stands, cheering you and your teammates on? For me and my teammates, their presence was monumental in our development and our passion for the game. Knowing my parents were there at the rink motivated me whenever it was my turn to jump the boards and hit the ice. I played my heart out for them, striving to make them proud and show them how much I appreciated their support and presence in my life.
Thankfully, my parents’ support was not vocal but rather physical. They were always there, silently cheering me on. They didn’t scream, bang on the glass, shout at the officials, or try to coach me from the sidelines. They respected my role on the team and encouraged me to work hard, be a good teammate, and show respect to my coach, the officials, and the opposing team. If they had advice to o
ffer, it was typically during our car rides to and from the rink. Their advice was honest, but it was always delivered in a way that uplifted me instead of breaking me down.
As I grew older, my desire to have my parents in the stands never wavered. Throughout my youth and junior hockey years, and even in college, one or both of my parents were there for every game. During my first year of college hockey, I played on the same team as my brother, which made it really convenient for my parents as we had local games. However, when I transferred colleges in my second year, I wasn’t sure if my parents would still be able to support me due to their work and other commitments. Yet, from the first game to the last, my parents always managed to find the time to drive two hours and be there for me in the stands. Your children grow up quickly, so remember that time is precious and cannot be turned back.
My parents’ support and their composed demeanor as fans are significant reasons why I still play hockey today. Even in my adult hockey league games, I find myself glancing up at the stands and thanking them for always being there. Like most parents, they wanted to see me achieve greatness, but they never placed that expectation on me. They understood that it had to come from within me. However, they provided me with unwavering support and the opportunity to pursue greatness.
Now, as a parent of two grown children, my wife and I reflect on how we adopted the same approach in their sports and music endeavors. We were not demanding or overly instructive about their performance. Instead, we provided feedback, guidance, and constructive encouragement to afford our kids the opportunity to find that passion and love of the game for themselves.
Your children seek and rely on your support, but if you become too demanding and take on their passion as your own, their love for the activity may fade away. Allow them to find their own passion and love, with you quietly supporting them in the background. If they develop a lifelong passion for hockey, sports, music, or any other activity, consider it a blessing and remember that your actions as a parent will have a significant influence.
The next time you find yourself at the rink, take a moment to self-reflect. Ask yourself if you are living your kid’s dream or if you are allowing them to live their own dream!
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